Pimplomat

 
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I'm a fan of queesting
Friday, September 30, 2005
As you go out this weekend, try to use some of these words in your descriptions or late-night conversations. They're from the wonderful book The Meaning of Tingo...and Other Extraordinary Words from Around the World by Adam Jacot de Boinod.

BAKKU-SHAN (Japanese)
A girl who looks as though she might be pretty when seen from behind, but isn't when seen from the front.

DESUS (Indonesia)
The quiet, smooth sound of somebody farting but not very loudly.

MAMIHLAPINATAPEI (Fuengian language, Chile)
A shared look of longing between parties who are both interested yet neither is willing to make the first move.

POMICIONE (Italian)
A man who seizes any chance of being in close physical contact with a woman.

QUEESTING (Dutch)
Allowing a lover access to one's bed, under the covers, for a chit-chat.

NARACHASTRA PRAYOGA (Sanskrit)
Men who worship their own sexual organs.

KORO (Japanese)
The hysterical belief that one's penis is shrinking into one's body.

ZECHPRELLER (German)
A person who leaves a restaurant without paying.

TINGO (Pascuense language, Easter Island)
Borrowing things from a friend's house, one by one, until he has nothing left.
posted by pimplomat @ 11:13 AM   1 comments
The Talk
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The following line comes from an article recently posted on Salon.com.

“If there is not a mass strike against such men they will be able to achieve libidinal expenditure relatively frequently, if not satisfyingly; they'll fail to sublimate their libidinal energies in the way that actually makes men attractive, which is by accomplishing things that may not be what they've always wanted to accomplish but are worthy things all the same, and they'll respond to women with the slack apathy with which one might respond to women if one felt that women were too available to them.”

At times like these, I want to shake the speaker by his shoulders, ask him to slow down and tell me what he means in 10 words or less.

The speaker in question is Benjamin Kunkel, a recently dubbed "public intellectual." His novel, Indecision, addresses contemporary listless males, specifically in New York City. Salon's Rebecca Traister interviews him about the philosophy behind the book's characters at www.salon.com/books/int/2005/09/20/kunkel/index.html.

Let me try and sum it up for you: Men are lazy at relationships and women don't want them to be. I admit that's a flip summary. I'm all for long, deep philosophical exploration between two people; however, this interview starts off with promise only to tumble into the middle of a stoner's circle.

Is it true that most men don't want to work at relationships when the going gets tough? I believe it is and it has always been that way. Yes, there are exceptions over time; however, most men are lazy. I'm lazy. I mean, I'll work at a relationship up to a point, and that point being "shut the hell up and move on."

Still, I've recently observed most of my friends that are girls practically driving a wedge between their boyfriends and themselves by the so-called "talk." You know the talk, the one where one person in the relationship wants to know where this (the relationship) is going and if it's stable and if it has a future (and by future, that person usually means marriage and maybe children).

Usually, the girl is asking these questions. And the guys' response almost all of the time is, "Why do we have to talk about the relationship if it's going so well."

And that just rubs the girl the wrong way, and they eventually split up a perfectly good relationship that possibly could have had a longer lifespan if he and she had just lived for the day.

Why does this happen? Why do (most often) women have this talk with their relationship partners? And from the woman's point of view, why don't the men like this talk?

Discuss.
posted by pimplomat @ 1:15 PM   0 comments
Little Screaming Humans
Monday, September 26, 2005
Friday night I went to a concert with one of my friends. It was at a large venue, and there were lots of little, screaming humans. I feared my seat would come crashing down 50 feet below, and the emergency crew would find my remains tangled in a web of bad, gothic makeup. I have never heard so much screaming at a concert. Is this what it was like for my parents when they saw the Beatles? I'd like to see the Beatles, but not with all that damn screaming. Why do you scream when someone is trying to play a song? Sure, I've screamed in the past when I heard some band play, but it was mainly out of horror and fear.

Nevertheless, the show wasn't too bad, and the best part was seeing a group of parents on chairs and sofas conducting a book group, while they waited on their children.
posted by pimplomat @ 8:44 AM   1 comments
Internet Dating
Thursday, September 22, 2005
I should really post on this thing at least once a day. But who reads it (please write me if you read it; make yourself known!)? I know Long Division does, because she talked me into getting a blog. However, I feel that my blog just sits here like a blob. See what I did there? I made a funny.

Ok, I'm kind of lame.

Let's see, what have I observed the last few days? Oh, here's one: I can listen to the new Paul McCartney album over and over again and not get sick of it. And this new John Vanderslice album is the cat's pants.

I had $1 beers last night, and my friend schooled me on how to talk to girls at bars. Alas, there were no single girls at the bar for me to practice on, so she and I just drank more beer.

I think I'll stick to Internet dating. I think it would be wonderful if a girl and I could only go out on a date through the Internet. No face to face meeting. We could IM and visit various Web sites. Maybe we would visit a restaurant site and talk about what we'd eat if we were there. Then we'd visit a dance club site (one with photos) and make fun of the people in the pictures. Then we'd politely kiss goodnight with some sort of silly smiley face found on IM programs.

Damn, I'm a genius.
posted by pimplomat @ 3:21 PM   2 comments
Tongue Tripping
Monday, September 19, 2005
For example, there's a girl looking at you (giving you the eye, per se), and you get that feeling that she'd be willing to talk with you at length. What do you say to her? What's your opening line? Seriously, this is where I get all flustered. I don't know how to start off a conversation. Sure, I can say hello to her, and then what?
posted by pimplomat @ 8:30 AM   1 comments
For No One
Friday, September 16, 2005
Today's poems all have a common theme, due to my personal situation.

"My Dreams, My Works, Must Wait Till After Hell"
by Gwendolyn Brooks

I hold my honey and I store my bread
In little jars and cabinets of my will.
I label clearly, and each latch and lid
I bid, Be firm till I return from hell.
I am very hungry. I am incomplete.
And none can give me any word but Wait,
The puny light. I keep my eyes pointed in;
Hoping that, when the devil days of my hurt
Drag out to their last dregs and I resume
On such legs as are left me, in such heart
As I can manage, remember to go home,
My taste will not have turned insensitive
To honey and bread old purity could love.

"After Great Pain"
by Emily Dickinson

After great pain, a formal feeling comes--
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs--
The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,
And Yesterday, or Centuries before?

The Feet, mechanical, go round--
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought--
A Wooden way
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone--

This is the Hour of Lead--
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons recollect the Snow--
First - Chill - then Stupor - then the letting go--


"Quick and Bitter"
by Yehuda Amichai

The end was quick and bitter.
Slow and sweet was the time between us,
slow and sweet were the nights
when my hands did not touch one another in despair but in the love
of your body which came
between them.

And when I entered into you
it seemed then that great happiness
could be measured with precision
of sharp pain. Quick and bitter.

Slow and sweet were the nights.
Now is bitter and grinding as sand—
"Let's be sensible" and similiar curses.

And as we stray further from love
we multiply the words,
words and sentences so long and orderly.
Had we remained together
we could have become a silence.
posted by pimplomat @ 9:30 AM   0 comments
Fish Smells
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Dear Co-worker who cooked fish in the breakroom,

I hate you and your ass face. The smell of fish now lingers around my cubicle like a low fog. Everytime I walk to the bathroom and past the kitchen, I smell fish. I'm sure I'll end up smelling like fish when I leave work. This fish smell will harbor inside my nose for days, reminding me of itself everytime I breathe. Thank you. Thank you for making me sick, you bastard.

Sincerely,
Pimplomat
posted by pimplomat @ 12:32 PM   1 comments
Bush's Hurricane
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
I plan on this being my only post about Hurricane Katrina. There are plenty of other blogs for that, plus 24-hour news coverage of it.

However, today Bush took responsibility for the federal government's failure to development an action plan.

"I take responsibility. Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capability at all levels of government," Bush said.

As my friends and family know, I think George W. Bush is the biggest doofball ever. Now that his popularity is falling, even among the Christian voters, he decides to take responsiblity for Katrina. Do you think he would do this if his popularity was still in good standing? I don't believe he would. I think he'd still be blaming the state and city goverments.

I'm going to stop now, because this is just making me get in a tizzy.

Let me conclude by saying that the new Franz Ferdinand album and I are okay with each other. In fact, we may even go out on a date.
posted by pimplomat @ 1:18 PM   1 comments
Take notes please
Monday, September 12, 2005
1) If you're going to jump on a monitor and rock out on guitar with your Billy Idol snarl, at least play like Slash or Pete Townshend. If you get up there and rock star pose, and then play light, delay-driven rifts, a la the Cure, I'll just laugh at you. My favorite band is the Cure, and even Robert Smith knows not to pull off crap like that...maybe that's one reason I like them.

2) If you take your friend to a party, make sure you don't lose her, or you might find her in the bathroom giving head to a guy she just met 30 minutes before said oral sex takes place.

3) Black pepper in the eye can burn. Badly.

4) A glass or two of red wine is delicious. Red wine, vodka, beer, vodka, wine and beer is just cause for a headache the next day.

5) Akita dogs will bite through your door.

6) Girls who like to watch machine-sex porn will keep reminding you of it until you write about it. Stay tuned, story at 11.
posted by pimplomat @ 1:51 PM   1 comments
Poetry, take one
Friday, September 09, 2005
I'm more of a fan of Ted Kooser than I am of Jorie Graham. Poets like Kooser, such as James Wright, Robert Bly and William Stafford excite me with their direct and open poetry. Graham, and others like her, bores the crap out of me. All the allusions, all the ideas and all the words jam-packed into one poem sinks any chance of connection with it. Sure, let Graham sit in her ivory chair at the poetry table; however, please don't let me sit next to her, unless you want to watch me fall asleep face-down in my green beans.

"The silence between the notes are as important as the notes themselves," Mozart said. I believe this can be applied to poetry, as well. What excites me about Kooser is his directness. He presents the subject and lets the reader come to his or her own conclusion. This creates a leap of the imagination that is important in literature. Today, society is pretty much handed everything to them without any participation on the recipients' part. This is just pure laziness.

I enjoy reading Kooser's American Life in Poety at www.americanlifeinpoetry.com. He presents poets that are new to me and ones that follow his own style of writing. This, in turn, excites me and cause me to have hope for the future of poetry.
posted by pimplomat @ 5:03 PM   3 comments
Today is the day that I turn into a sports nerd
Thursday, September 08, 2005
The 2005 NFL season starts today, and I could not be more excited. Many of my friends are surprised that I'm as in to football as I am. Little do they know that I played football in grades 5 through 12. I mainly played wide receiver and defensive back; however, I never made a touchdown. I came close once in sixth grade, and a guy ran me down and tackled me about five yards from the endzone. Never making a touchdown in eight years of football kind of still gets to me, like never making a 4.0 in college.

I was on the first-string team all the way up to my senior year in high school. By then, my interests were mainly in listening to music and playing music. I remember during my junior year worrying that I would make the varsity team, and if I did I would have to miss the upcoming Cure concert. Varsity played on Friday nights, and the Cure's show was on a Friday night. It was a needless worry though; I didn't make the varsity squad.

Still, while I was at the Cure concert with my mom (wearing her bright yellow shirt--easy to find in a sea of black clothes), my high school's varsity squad got into a fight with the other team. Not just a one player-on-one player fight, but a team bench clearing, fans jumping onto the field fighting other fans kind of fight.

There were no fights during my varsity year. I mainly sat on the sidelines and kept stats. I got to play for about five minutes during our last game of the season. I was really sad in the locker room after the game, as were a lot of my teammates. Most of us had grown up playing football together, and we knew that it was our last game. It was the last activity that pulled us in as one, not defining who we were as individuals, but defining a time when it was about a larger picture, when friendship mattered and when teamwork would actually get you somewhere.

After that, it was mainly about individual accomplishments--look at me, I got into this school and you didn't; I got this job and you didn't; I got this dog and you didn't.

I know not everyone is selfish and willing to stab his or her friends in the front just to get ahead, but to those who remember team sports and actually enjoyed them, I say hats off.

Today is the day we can sit back, eat bad junk food, drink cheap beer, and cheer on our favorite teams. Together.
posted by pimplomat @ 6:13 AM   1 comments
There's one in every coffee shop
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
The other day my friends and I stopped to get some refreshments and tasty treats at a coffee shop after watching a movie. As soon as we walk in, there is a man dressed all in black--black hat, black pants, black shirt--sitting at a table. The only colors on him were his red handkerchief and his Yin-Yang necklace. These are the times I wish I had my camera with me.

He looks like Christopher Walken to begin with, and he's writing something down. Actually, he has six pads of paper in front of him. On five of the pads his pens--all the exact same pen--are placed perfectly at the top of the pad. He watches us, writes something down, using a ruler to make sure his lines are straight. My friend walks by to try and see what he's writing. He comes back and says it's ornate penmanship, but not calligraphy.

We leave to go across the street. After we leave another store, we see him sitting outside now, watching us.

I'm not creeped out; I just wish I had the balls to walk up to him and ask him what he was doing.
posted by pimplomat @ 1:17 PM   2 comments
Really njoi it!
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Please only leave comments like this from now on, thank you. (And thanks to gorillavsbear.net for posting it.)

sorry about that. but any ways , hello. i am a new mp3er on the internet looking forward to somthin nu. but i must say that the recent and previous stuff you posted is really cool. i gone to other blogs , but i keep comin back to this one. i really njoi it!
what really stood out 4 me is that you think that vocalist from the you kno what is a douchebag.... so do i . i saw them play live at a free concret downtown here in atlanta (a-towm!!!) i wanted him to shut up so bad; like , it made me sick of his hey look im cool like a rock star personna.
oooooooooooooooh yesssssssssssh!!!
i almost not forgot ! ive seen trough your classics and i cant believe i missed that i missed so much kick assh stuff!
plus i have been going to a lot of summer concerts as well. like at music midtown, for example. i accidentally waited there 4hrs before the first days shows (fri - sun , but this was on friday. ) i got there at 2:20 , and the guy said the first set of shows start at 6:15!!! but i waited. i could've had the chance to say hi to interpol up close while they were finished doing soundcheck (me was very intimidated)+{ i finally had the chance to enjoy myself then that night and thru sundeay. heres the list of shows of artists i still remember :

friday 6:15-12:00am

red letter agent (local band)
michael tolcher ( real cool!)
interpol(first experience stage diving. i swear paul was staring at me)
the white stripes (saw most of the show , but my body was killing me!)

saturday 2: 30 - 12:00

she wants revenge- ( i thought i was crazy wearing a light sweater, that guy had to be sweating. intriuged show.
louis XIV - (was cool but they didnt sound well with the outdorr atmoshere, to me.
bloc party - yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !! the show was pretty awsome . seeing them for the first time was great. i had the chance to get stuff signed or say hello to them. i felt really akward, especially when the vocalist , who i know by the name of kele, was like "whats your name" i said it it and shook my hand. i remember saying something to him lie, ' you guys really made the kids grow"... some thing like that. "thank u so so much!" he said in the most honest smile i have seen
i say wierd stuff all the time.... poor me.

the furtures - .....sorry i have nothin... werent that memorable to me.

keane -hmmmcouldve enjoyed it better if that drunk girl didnt conpulsively say, "is that my song " on every song they did.

the killers - ... .... what else 2 say about them?

the pixies- saw only 10 percent of the show.
(really wanted to go at ta masquerade for the after party . paul banks was there doing his thang on the turntables. but i was broke and not 21 so i couldnt get in 4 free. dang BEING 17!!!!!

sunday 3:30- 8:00

tegan and sarah - most adorable twins ! like how theyre very comfoftable with their shows ; makes me feel like theyre good friends to me.

coheed and cambria- man, that dudes got biggggggggggg hair!!

the lemonheads - hmmmmmmm. i relaxed on the concretes listening to them play.

devo- havent play in the atl in decades. i was shocked that they actually are incredible live! it felt wierd in the last song the vocalist put on a church choir suit and a mask of a little blond blue eyed boy mask and saying in a high voice , " its a wonderful world". effin classick!!!

i checked out more concerts in atlanta . like KOL and secret machines coulple of weeks back. planning to go and see BP again; want to know if kele will reconize me ! sigh* , me and my infatuations.

P>S> just to let u know iam a girl... latah!
posted by pimplomat @ 2:26 PM   3 comments
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Name: Pimplomat pimplomat
Home: Texas Dallas, TX
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