Pimplomat

 
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Pissing Contests
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Last night, a friend sat next to me after seeing her ex-boyfriend leave the room. "So, who's cooler, me or him?" she asked. I refused to take sides in this sort of one-upmanship. "You're both my friends, and you're both cool. Drop it," I replied. I guess that satisfied her, because she then left.

Still, this conversation got me to thinking about pissing contests. Lately, they seem everywhere. If you check out WeShotJR you can read the ongoing debate about which town is better: Dallas or Denton. Seriously, people who debate this....grow up. It doesn't really matter which town is better. They both have their good and bad points, and good and bad bands come from both cities.

Dallas Observer vs. Dallas Morning News: Make peace. Who fucking cares? One is a weekly alternative and the other is a daily newspaper. I know you both want to get the first scoop on a story, but in reality it doesn't matter to the readers. They don't care who ran the story first; they just want the story published.

Finally, journalists who feel the need to bash other journalists on public forums: I wasn't a journlism major, but do colleges not offer classes in professionalism nowadays? If not, they should, and journalism majors should be forced to take them.

Poem of the Day for National Poetry Month
"A Bone to Pick with You"
by A.E. Stallings

It's time to take the skeleton out of the closet,
Where it has lain these months in the catalogued gloom,
Stored bone by bone in boxes and brown paper parcels:

Femurs, vertebrae, fibulas, skull, meta-tarsals.
It's time to put it together with wires and hooks,
To light the sullen lantern behind its sockets,

And dress it in the black suit with the fraying pockets,
And the creaking shoes with holes worn through the soles.
It's the time of year when the skeleton malingers

On the front porch, and the neighbors point their fingers,
(But nobody, nobody whispers behind our backs.)
It's time to take the skeleton out of the closet,

Where it lies the rest of the year like a safety deposit,
Accruing the interest of dust, and a layer of gossip.
Later we'll drag it back in, and bone by bone

We'll take it apart, and clean it with acetone,
And pack it in cotton-balls, muffled with tissue paper—
We'll padlock the door, so that no one can ever tattle.

But something's afraid of the dark. Hear it rattle, rattle.

Song of the Day
"Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenocerous" by Flight of the Conchords
posted by pimplomat @ 1:30 PM  
13 Comments:
  • At Thursday, 20 April, 2006, Blogger Eric Grubbs said…

    I want to start a pissing contest on who has the better pissing contests. :-)

     
  • At Thursday, 20 April, 2006, Blogger Andrea said…

    Or, if you have a problem with something someone's said, you could just grow some balls and say something to her face.

     
  • At Friday, 21 April, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Right, Andrea, because posting bitchy, mean-spirited snark on your blog and the Observer’s is the definition of saying something to a person’s face. Hypocrite.

     
  • At Friday, 21 April, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    but he did "say it to her face."


    'I refused to take sides in this sort of one-upmanship. "You're both my friends, and you're both cool. Drop it," I replied.'

     
  • At Friday, 21 April, 2006, Blogger trixieskips said…

    Golden showers make April's flowers. Wait, that's not right.

     
  • At Monday, 24 April, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    andrea's just an insecure little kid who's trying to get attention, you guys.

    cut her some slack..

     
  • At Monday, 24 April, 2006, Blogger Andrea said…

    Mrow.

     
  • At Tuesday, 25 April, 2006, Blogger nerver said…

    why does commenting on an article equate to commenting on a person's character? if i don't like a song, for example, that doesn't mean i think the songwriter is a bad person.
    i think people take things way too personally for other people and i find it funny (and cool) that the only person truly allowed to take offense to the article criticism chose to laugh it off--well done.
    seems everyone is all up in someone else's "biznass" (to quote TT & Mario, of course)

     
  • At Tuesday, 25 April, 2006, Blogger pimplomat said…

    Nerver, is your comment in reply to Anon's comment on Monday?

     
  • At Tuesday, 25 April, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Nerver, you are a whore!!!

     
  • At Tuesday, 25 April, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    nerver, are you saying that the quality of someone's character can not be derived from their creative work?

     
  • At Tuesday, 25 April, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    public figures are subject to public scrutiny.

     
  • At Friday, 28 April, 2006, Blogger nerver said…

    my comment was meant more like: if I said Steve Blow wrote a great column, that doesn't mean I know jack about his personal character, it just means I think he's a good writer...at least for that day. (though, rarely would I go pro-Blow. just an example.) therefore, if someone slams an article, it doesn't mean that from one sample of writing they gleaned a vast knowledge of the person and are therefore slamming the author's character. sure, tidbits of character can be learned, but only over a matter of time...and how does anyone know those tidbits to be ultimately true and not an act?
    i just noticed that once Andrea blogged about the column in question, all of these people jumped out (and all over her) to defend the original author as though Andrea had said she murdered kitties, stole old ladies' purses and hated pizza. and i think we all know that Trixie Skips would never murder a kittie as she graciously fosters them for cryin' out loud!
    I think TS has really shown great maturity and diplomacy when others have resorted to petty name-calling.

    And for the record, anonymous, I am not a "whore", but since I've put myself in the public eye and am yes, subject to public scrutiny, I suppose you can call me whatever you want. I believe, however, I'll just stick to calling you anonymous.

     
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